What do a wedding, an industry awards dinner, and Thursday night drinks with friends all have in common? They need an RSVP. Whether you’re attending or declining, every invitation deserves a timely response. RSVP etiquette is an important social and professional skill. A well-crafted response can help safeguard relationships and ensure that you continue to find yourself on the invite list for future events. Get the RSVP wrong and you might just find yourself in social exile.
Before we dive in, let’s clear up what RSVP actually means. The acronym comes from the French phrase répondez s’il vous plaît, which simply means ‘please respond.’ Today, it appears on everything from black-tie wedding invitations to casual get-togethers, serving as a polite prompt for a simple yes or no so the host can plan with confidence.
This guide will equip you with all the RSVP etiquette tips you need, including:
- The fundamental elements of an RSVP
- Templates for how to accept an invitation
- Templates for politely declining an invitation
- RSVPs for different types of events
- Navigating awkward RSVP scenarios
- Common RSVP mistakes to avoid
- Frequently asked questions
The fundamentals of RSVP etiquette
Responding to an RSVP is a small task that carries a lot of weight, especially when someone is trying to finalize plans. Here’s a quick look at the core habits that keep your replies clear, timely, and easy for the host to work with.
Respond to every invitation
The first thing to know is that every invitation requires a response. Forbes mentions the importance of respecting your host with a clear RSVP: “Show your host the courtesy of responding if you plan on attending or not. Your host took the time to invite you. Take the time to do the same in responding.”
RSVP on time
Every invitation requiring an RSVP should include a ‘respond by’ date. Out of respect for your host, respond on time, well ahead of the deadline. This gives the host maximum time to make changes to the event. It also removes the risk that you’ll forget to RSVP, or double-book your diary, and find yourself in an awkward situation closer to the date. If there’s no ‘respond by’ date on the invitation, assume they would like an answer from you as soon as possible. No one’s ever sent an RSVP too early.
Reply the way you were invited
However you receive your invitation should dictate the format of your RSVP. That means if you receive a paper invite requesting a mailed response, you’re sending it by post. If it’s a digital invitation, the host will be expecting a digital RSVP. In some instances, you may receive a paper invitation with an RSVP website or email address listed. It’s completely acceptable (and likely preferred) that you would send a digital RSVP in those instances. For casual event invites sent on social media or messaging apps, reply on the same app to make it easy for the host to find your RSVP. In every instance, if you’re unsure, ask the host how they would like to receive your response.
Be clear and concise
An RSVP is a yes or no moment. Never a ‘maybe’. The host needs confirmed guest numbers to successfully organize catering, seating plans and entertainment. Give a single, clear response and provide answers to any additional questions, such as dietary restrictions and allergies.
How to RSVP when you’re attending
Your schedule is clear and you’re ready to RSVP ‘yes’. It’s time to tick a box (if there’s one to tick) or drop the host an email to confirm your attendance. Follow these RSVP templates to accept your invitation.
Formal RSVP template (accepting an invitation)
Subject: Acceptance of Invitation – [Event name]
Dear [Host’s name],
Thank you very much for the kind invitation to [Event name] on [date]. I am pleased to confirm my attendance and look forward to joining you.
I have no dietary restrictions or allergies.
Please let me know if there is anything I should bring or prepare in advance.
Thank you again, and I look forward to the event.
Best regards,
[Your full name]
Informal RSVP template (accepting an invitation)
Subject: Can’t Wait for [Event Name]
Hi [Host’s name],
Thanks so much for the invite! I’m excited to come to [Event name] on [date] and can’t wait to see everyone.
I have no dietary restrictions or allergies.
Let me know if I can bring anything or help out in advance.
See you soon,
[Your name]
What to include in your RSVP acceptance email:
- Confirm that you will be attending, ideally in the subject line
- Thank the host for the invitation
- Include the event date to avoid any misunderstandings
- Communicate dietary restrictions and allergies
- Offer support if appropriate for the type of event
- Sign off with your name
If your invitation includes your family, partner, or a plus-one, be sure to list the names of everyone attending in your RSVP, along with any dietary restrictions or allergies. Avoid sending separate RSVPs or responding on behalf of someone later, as this creates extra work for the host and can cause confusion on the guest list.
How to RSVP when you’re not attending
The art of politely declining an invitation is surprisingly easy to master. But many of us put it off, hoping to dodge the social discomfort of declining until the last minute.
In Time’s article 8 Polite Ways to Decline a Party Invitation, the authors explain that while saying ‘yes’ often feels like the only socially acceptable option, there are tactful ways to decline an RSVP without offending the host.
Follow these RSVP templates to politely decline your invitation.
Formal RSVP template (Declining an Invitation)
Subject: Regretfully Declining – [Event name]
Dear [Host’s name],
Thank you very much for the kind invitation to [Event name] on [date]. Unfortunately, I am unable to attend.
I have no doubt it will be an excellent event. I truly appreciate the invitation and hope it’s a great success.
Best regards,
[Your full name]
Informal RSVP Template (Declining an Invitation)
Subject: Sorry I Can’t Make It – [Event name]
Hi [Host’s Name],
Thanks so much for the invite! I’m really sorry, but I won’t be able to make it to [Event name] on [date].
You’re always such a welcoming host and I wish I could be there.
I hope you all have a wonderful time, and I’d love to catch up soon.
Best,
[Your name]
4 tips for declining an invitation
Declining an invitation can feel awkward, but it becomes much easier when you keep your response simple and considerate. Here are a few practical tips that help you say no while keeping the relationship strong.
1. Acknowledge the invitation
Make it clear that you have received the invite and express gratitude that they thought of you.
2. Clearly decline
This is a straightforward, “I won’t be able to attend”. If you have a diary conflict, you can mention it, but there’s no need to go into more detail about why you’re saying ‘no’. Avoid transferring any of your guilt to the host. Keep it simple, your host doesn’t need the backstory of your childcare arrangements or a rundown of your workload.
3. Honor the host
If you can sincerely compliment your host to soften the blow, go for it. That could be their incredible cooking, or how well they bring new groups of people together. Leave them feeling uplifted in spite of your ‘no’.
4. Don’t lie
Regardless of whether you value the relationship or not, there’s no need to lie about your schedule. A short, direct response doesn’t need qualification (and you won’t need to worry about remembering an elaborate fib).
RSVP templates for different types of events
Different events call for different kinds of replies, and having ready-made templates can save time while keeping your message clear. Here’s a quick preview of the formats that work well for everything from casual get-togethers to formal occasions.
1. Colleague’s destination wedding RSVP (email)
Acceptance email
Subject: Accepting Your Invitation – [Colleague’s name] & [Partner’s name]’s Wedding
Dear [Colleague’s name],
Thank you so much for inviting me to celebrate your wedding on [date] in [location]. I’m delighted to confirm that I will be attending and I’m really looking forward to sharing this special day with you both.
For catering purposes, please note that I [do not have / have the following] dietary restrictions: [insert here].
Please let me know if I can help in any way ahead of the big day, I’m more than happy to support.
Warmest wishes,
[Your full name]
Declining email
Subject: Regretfully Declining – [Colleague’s name] & [Partner’s Name]’s Wedding
Dear [Colleague’s name],
Thank you so much for inviting me to celebrate your wedding on [date] in [location]. I’m truly honored to be included. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to attend, but I will be celebrating you in spirit.
I have no doubt it will be an incredible day. Your talent for bringing people together is unmatched and I can’t wait to hear all about it.
Wishing you both all the happiness in the world,
[Your full name]
2. Networking dinner for senior leaders RSVP (email)
Acceptance email
Subject: Confirming Attendance – [Event name/Organizer’s name] Networking Dinner, [Date]
Dear [Organizer’s name],
Thank you very much for the invitation to the networking dinner on [date]. I am pleased to confirm my attendance and look forward to connecting with fellow leaders in the industry.
For catering purposes, please note that I [do not have / have the following] dietary restrictions: [insert here].
I appreciate the opportunity to take part and look forward to the evening.
Best regards,
[Your full name]
Declining email
Subject: Regretfully Declining – [Event name/Organizer’s name] Networking Dinner, [Date]
Dear [Organizer’s Name],
Thank you very much for inviting me to the networking dinner on [Date]. I truly appreciate being included, but unfortunately I will be unable to attend due to a prior commitment.
I know it will be a valuable and insightful event, and I regret missing the chance to connect with the group. Please keep me in mind for future gatherings.
Best regards,
[Your full name]
3. Friend’s birthday drinks RSVP (text message)
Acceptance text
Hey [Friend’s name], thanks for the invite! I’ll be there for your birthday drinks on [Date] 🎉 Can’t wait to celebrate with you! (No dietary restrictions for me.)
Decline text
Hey [Friend’s Name], thanks so much for inviting me to your birthday drinks on [Date]! I’m really sorry I can’t make it this time, but I hope you have an amazing night. You always throw the best parties 🎂🥂 Let’s celebrate together soon!
Navigating awkward RSVP scenarios
Between missing an RSVP deadline and trying to work out if your kids are invited, there’s plenty of awkward RSVP situations to navigate. Here are our top tips for facing uncomfortable RSVP conversations.
Plus-one invitations
Few things feel more intimidating than walking into an event solo, surrounded by people you’ve never met. That said, your name’s on the guest list for a reason and the host wants you there. The same can’t be said for your new partner, best friend or the person you just met at Starbucks. Vogue suggests that only people named on the invitation are invited. If bringing a plus-one is an option, it’s likely the host will specifically mention it. Otherwise, it’s just you they want at the event.
Children at events
The same rule applies for kids. If they’re not named on the invitation, it’s unlikely that they’re invited. It’s absolutely fine to politely clarify this with the host before sending your RSVP. If not being able to bring your children means you’ll have to decline, there’s no need to spell this out for the host. Remember, the host should never be made to feel guilty about their guest list.
Financial barriers
Destination wedding in Paris out of budget? You’re not alone. Finances are a legitimate reason to decline an invitation. Research done by Harvard Business Review found that it can actually improve your relationship with the host to be honest about financial barriers. “The results show that giving an excuse about not having enough time can hurt relationships, whereas giving an excuse about not having enough money can help them. Participants found a money excuse to be much more trustworthy than a time excuse or no excuse.”
RSVP mistakes to avoid
Here’s a run-down of the most common RSVP mistakes to avoid.
- Not responding at all
- Responding after the deadline
- Bringing uninvited guests
- Ignoring dietary questions or making inappropriate requests
- Ignoring the dress code
- Making empty promises to attend or decline
With all the tips in this guide, these mistakes should be easily avoidable. A timely RSVP is a gesture of respect. It’s not only good social etiquette, but it can safeguard your ongoing relationship with the host.
Responding to RSVPs FAQs
How soon should I send my RSVP?
Ideally, you should respond as soon as you know your answer. If the invitation has a deadline, aim to reply well before the “RSVP by” date. If there’s no deadline listed, respond within a few days of receiving the invitation. No one has ever complained about getting an RSVP too early.
What’s the right way to RSVP: email, text, or post?
The golden rule: reply in the same way you were invited. A paper invitation asking for a mailed response means you should send your RSVP by post. If the host provided an RSVP email, reply by email. For casual invitations sent via WhatsApp, Messenger, or text, respond directly in the same app. If you’re unsure, it’s perfectly fine to ask the host how they’d prefer you to respond.
How do I politely decline an invitation without offending the host?
Keep it simple and gracious. Thank the host for the invitation, clearly say that you can’t attend, and if you can, compliment them or express regret at missing the event. Avoid over-explaining or transferring guilt. Your host doesn’t need a rundown of your work deadlines or childcare challenges.
When is it okay to ask for a plus-one?
Only when the invitation explicitly allows it. If your invitation includes “and guest” or names your partner, they’re welcome. If it doesn’t, assume the invite is just for you.
What are the biggest RSVP mistakes to avoid?
Some of the most common pitfalls include:
- Not responding at all
- You’ve missed the RSVP deadline
- Bringing uninvited guests (including children or plus-ones not listed)
- Ignoring dietary questions or dress code requests
- Saying “maybe” instead of giving a clear yes or no
How do I respond to a wedding RSVP?
Yes. Wedding RSVPs often require extra attention. Always respond by the RSVP deadline, and include the full names of everyone attending (including family or a plus-one if the invitation allows). Hosts are juggling countless details, so a clear and timely RSVP helps them plan smoothly. Note any dietary restrictions or allergies, and avoid sending separate RSVPs for different members of your party. Never assume it’s okay to bring a guest who isn’t named on the invitation. If circumstances prevent you from attending, decline politely and sincerely.